YPs, I’m coming to you today with a serious topic at hand. The most “negative” force in a relationship is TRUST or the LACK OF!!!! A lack of trust can come from a number of issues. There can be some issues from a previous relationship that causes one person to have trust issues. There can be some infidelity in the current situation. Sometimes it can be as simple as one party listening to their friends, fill their heads with a bunch of negative thoughts. All of these reasons can be legit reasons in one’s mind to become suspicious. Those reasons may plague many relationships, but what I want to talk about are “Phantom” reasons. Sometimes, one party may just really be paranoid and causing unnecessary problems for no reason.

          Men and women have a different take on every event that takes place between them, but there is a such thing as being irrational. Coming to a point when logic just seems to leave the body and stupidity takes over, is what will send a relationship to the pits. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong wit a healthy argument every now and then, but there needs to be a LEGIT REASON. It seems sometimes that women, especially, need to argue in order to feel normal. If you do not trust your mate, then work that issue out with him/her, don’t just pick at every little thing because you feel you have a right to. Let me tell you all something, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PICK A FIGHT FOR UNJUST INSECURITY ISSUES.

          I just wanna give a couple examples of insecurities that may cause unwanted stress in a relationship.  Being an overall “ROBOCOP” is example number one.  Meaning, you do not have to snoop around looking for dirt.  A lot of people feel that since they’re in a relationship, it gives them the right to do whatever they want in any fashion they want.  Just a little advice, when you began to snoop around, most times you are just building a barrier with your mate for no reason.  The worst thing you can do to an innocent person is ACCUSE them.  Any ‘reasonable’ questions you may have, JUST ASK THEM.  Going through your mate’s phone, closet, car, etc. is a recipe for disaster.  Don’t be the type of person to harass your mate when they specifically tell you about plans they have made.  Example: Your mate tells you where they are going and who they are going with, there is no need for you to constantly call/text/email that person throughout the night asking what he/she is doing.  All you are saying is, I don’t believe you are doing what you said you were doing, or that you think by you being on the phone, then everything is fine.  Do not make it easy to build up resentment against yourself. 

          One way to get on your partner’s nerves is to constantly let them know their phone is ringing or asking who it is on the phone.  My personal take on this is, IF YOU KNOW MY PHONE IS RINGING, DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW!!!!.  All you’re doing is causing unneccesary tension.  Constantly asking who it is that is on the phone when your partner’s phone rings, is a NO/NO.  If you and your mate are on good terms then it will probably come out in normal conversation.  I feel that if someone calls your phone and asks for me, then you will let me know, otherwise there would be no need for me to ask who it was as soon as you hang up.  These are all things that can be avoided and stem from your own insecurities. 

          The one thing that needs to be heavily taken into consideration is that, everything does not need to be left up to your own interpretation.  Sometimes, maybe once or twice in life, someone may actually say what they mean, AND MEAN WHAT THEY SAY.  In relationships, you should be at a place where you can trust that you know who you are dealing with.  If you have to question and interpret everything that is said, then there is a big problem.  People think differently, that does not mean they do not care or are not considerate.  Keep this in mind when you find yourself letting your insecurities get the best of you.  You do not want to mess up a good thing for absolutely no good reason.  I believe this happens more times then we actually realize.  Take care of your relationship as if you want it to last, and IT WILL!!!  YPs, we need to do better in every aspect of life.  YPs Stand Up!!!!

YPDSing, YoungProfessionals Writer

3 Responses to “Relationships: “Why Are You So Paranoid””

1. Allison Crawford says:

   02/02/2010 at 4:54 PM

   Very reasonable post but then again most people are very unreasonable when they are in a relationship, both men and women.

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2. Stevie J says:

   02/02/2010 at 5:09 PM

   Preach brotha…”mind ya business lady”…u didnt put in on this phone bill so until u do, I dont need u screening my calls…lmao

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3. p2bplastic says:

   02/08/2010 at 10:19 PM

   cus u made her or him that way thats y he or she is so damn Paranoid good points and all but Paranoia doesnt just fall out the sky ur actions and responses def make a bitch paranoid #imjustsaying some where down the road someone tainted things u popped her or his heart seems

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